Three Ways to Find Your “Happy”
Posted: November 14, 2016
I have been on a quest most of my life to “find my happy” Maybe you have been on the same quest, too. Because I am a therapist and have a background in research, this was one topic I wanted to dive into, understand and share with others in an easy to follow way.Being happy or staying happy can be hard. It can feel like it is just out of our reach.
Many people feel that way and it is no coincidence. In terms of evolution, feelings that would motivate us to react, like fear or anger kept us alive. We quickly appraised a situation, “Oh no a bear is running toward me.” Felt the fear and ran. Fear is strong, driving emotion.
The feeling of happiness is light, brief and quick. It has no motivating tendencies that drive us toward survival in the way fear does. So fear is usually felt as a stronger and longer emotion. But we don’t want that! We want to feel HAPPY all the time!!
So what can we do about this?
Here are 3 things you can do right now to create more happy in your life.
First, ACCEPT that fear, anger and even sadness are emotions that are ok to feel. Pushing away any emotion just makes it stronger and makes us struggle even more. When you say, “Go away Fear!” Fear says, “You need me to survive and I am sticking around.” So let the fear hang around, but don’t be controlled by it in the moment.
Second, be PATIENT with yourself. It is the key to moving toward happiness. When we are impatient with ourselves, we are usually unkind to ourselves. Then that means that we are not making the best choices for ourselves. And likely, we will be unhappy because we will be unaccepting of who we are and where we are. Happiness begins when we can be kind to ourselves and listen to our inner voice that tells us what we need right now. Sometimes it is as simple as knowing we need a nap or we need to get ourselves outside for a walk to spur some creativity. Change happens in the small moments. So slow down.
Lastly, DO NOT COMPARE yourself to others. Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” He was so right. It is only when we compare ourselves, that we see lack in ourselves. But our lack does not exist if we don’t compare. Think of all you have right now and all you are truly grateful for. I think social media plays a big role in bringing us down. Remember, people show you what they want to show you on social media. What you see is not anyone’s real life. It is only a snapshot in time.
Now, these 3 steps may sound hard. And each step may take some work. However, once you begin the work it does get easier. I promise I will continue to share strategies with you to help you “find your happy.”
If you are looking for other like-minded individuals who are also on a quest to discover happiness, I invite you to join our Strong at the Core Connections Facebook Page. Just click on the link and request to join us. It is a great place to be to learn more about getting unstuck, motivated and happy.
Please leave a comment below and let me know about your quest to find your “happy.” I would love to hear from you!
The feeling of happiness is light, brief and quick. It has no motivating tendencies that drive us toward survival in the way fear does. So fear is usually felt as a stronger and longer emotion. But we don’t want that! We want to feel HAPPY all the time!!
So what can we do about this?
Here are 3 things you can do right now to create more happy in your life.
First, ACCEPT that fear, anger and even sadness are emotions that are ok to feel. Pushing away any emotion just makes it stronger and makes us struggle even more. When you say, “Go away Fear!” Fear says, “You need me to survive and I am sticking around.” So let the fear hang around, but don’t be controlled by it in the moment.
Second, be PATIENT with yourself. It is the key to moving toward happiness. When we are impatient with ourselves, we are usually unkind to ourselves. Then that means that we are not making the best choices for ourselves. And likely, we will be unhappy because we will be unaccepting of who we are and where we are. Happiness begins when we can be kind to ourselves and listen to our inner voice that tells us what we need right now. Sometimes it is as simple as knowing we need a nap or we need to get ourselves outside for a walk to spur some creativity. Change happens in the small moments. So slow down.
Lastly, DO NOT COMPARE yourself to others. Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” He was so right. It is only when we compare ourselves, that we see lack in ourselves. But our lack does not exist if we don’t compare. Think of all you have right now and all you are truly grateful for. I think social media plays a big role in bringing us down. Remember, people show you what they want to show you on social media. What you see is not anyone’s real life. It is only a snapshot in time.
Now, these 3 steps may sound hard. And each step may take some work. However, once you begin the work it does get easier. I promise I will continue to share strategies with you to help you “find your happy.”
If you are looking for other like-minded individuals who are also on a quest to discover happiness, I invite you to join our Strong at the Core Connections Facebook Page. Just click on the link and request to join us. It is a great place to be to learn more about getting unstuck, motivated and happy.
Please leave a comment below and let me know about your quest to find your “happy.” I would love to hear from you!